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The Bible takes friendship seriously enough to call God a friend. Abraham "was called a friend of God" (James 2:23), Moses spoke with the LORD "face to face, as a man speaks to his friend," and Jesus told his disciples on the last night, "I have called you friends." Alongside that, the Bible is unsentimental about human friendship: it praises loyalty, warns about bad company, and tells stories in which friends save a life, share a grief, or get it badly wrong.
This guide covers what Scripture says about friendship in three parts: the wisdom of Proverbs, the teaching of Jesus and the apostles, and four friendships the Bible narrates in detail. Quotations are from the Berean Standard Bible; every reference links to the chapter.
Proverbs on what a friend is
Proverbs is the Bible's handbook on friendship, and its most famous line is also its simplest:
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
"At all times" is the test: not when it is convenient, not when you are useful. In the King James Version it is "A friend loveth at all times" (Proverbs 17:17, KJV).
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother.
The proverb draws a line between companions, of whom you can have too many, and the rare friend who is closer than family. The KJV reads "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly" (Proverbs 18:24, KJV), a different reading of a difficult Hebrew line, and both versions have been quoted for centuries.
The wounds of a friend are faithful, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
Oil and incense bring joy to the heart, and the sweetness of a friend is counsel to the soul.
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
Proverbs 27 holds three of the Bible's best sayings on friendship in one chapter. A real friend will hurt you when you need it, advise you when you ask, and make you sharper by friction. None of that describes a comfortable relationship.
Many a man proclaims his loving devotion, but who can find a trustworthy man?
Proverbs on choosing friends
The same book is blunt that friends change you, for better or worse.
He who walks with the wise will become wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.
Do not make friends with an angry man, and do not associate with a hot-tempered man, or you may learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.
A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the ways of the wicked lead them astray.
A perverse man spreads dissension, and a gossip divides close friends.
Paul says the same thing in four words, quoting a Greek playwright: "Bad company corrupts good character" (1 Corinthians 15:33). Proverbs even has advice about overstaying: "Seldom set foot in your neighbor's house, lest he grow weary and hate you" (Proverbs 25:17).
Ecclesiastes on why we need friends at all
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. For if one falls down, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to help him up! Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one keep warm alone? And though one may be overpowered, two can resist. Moreover, a cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Often read at weddings, this passage is about companionship of every kind. Its argument is practical: alone, you fall and stay down. The cord of three strands has been read as two friends with God as the third.
Jesus on friendship
This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not understand what his master is doing. But I have called you friends, because everything I have learned from My Father I have made known to you.
This is the most important passage on friendship in the Bible, because in it God's Son defines the word by what he is about to do. A friend lays down his life. A friend holds nothing back. And the disciples are friends, not servants, because Jesus has told them everything. The next day he laid down his life.
Jesus was also accused of having the wrong friends: "Look at this glutton and drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!" (Luke 7:34). He did not deny it.
The apostles on friendship in the church
The letters of the New Testament rarely use the word "friend," but they describe what friends do under the heading "one another."
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Outdo yourselves in honoring one another.
Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.
Carry one another's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Therefore encourage and build one another up, just as you are already doing.
And let us consider how to spur one another on to love and good deeds. Let us not neglect meeting together, as some have made a habit, but let us encourage one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Forgiveness belongs here too, since no friendship lasts without it: "Bear with one another and forgive any complaint you may have against someone else. Forgive as the Lord forgave you" (Colossians 3:13). See our guide to what the Bible says about forgiveness.
One warning stands beside the encouragements. James writes that "friendship with the world is hostility toward God" (James 4:4). He is not against having friends outside the church; he is against loving the world's values more than God.
Four friendships in the Bible
David and Jonathan. The Bible's most celebrated friendship began the day David killed Goliath: "the souls of Jonathan and David were knit together, and Jonathan loved him as himself," and Jonathan "made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself" (1 Samuel 18:1–3). Jonathan was the crown prince and David the man who would take his throne, and Jonathan chose David anyway, warning him of Saul's plots at the cost of his own future. Their parting is one of the most moving scenes in the Old Testament (1 Samuel 20:42). When Jonathan died, David sang: "I grieve for you, Jonathan, my brother. You were delightful to me; your love to me was extraordinary" (2 Samuel 1:26).
Ruth and Naomi. A daughter-in-law who refused to leave: "wherever you go, I will go, and wherever you live, I will live; your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried" (Ruth 1:16–17). Ruth's loyalty to a grieving, bitter older woman with nothing to offer her is the Bible's picture of hesed, steadfast love, and it put her in the family line of Jesus.
Job and his three friends. When disaster struck Job, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar came from their homes "to sympathize with Job and comfort him," and "they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights, but no one spoke a word to him because they saw how intense his suffering was" (Job 2:11–13). That week of silence was the best thing they did. When they started talking, they explained his suffering as his fault, and God rebuked them at the end of the book. Job's own verdict: "A despairing man should have the kindness of his friend" (Job 6:14). The lesson is still needed: show up, sit down, and be slow to explain.
Jesus and his disciples. The friendship of John 15 was tested within hours. One friend betrayed him, one denied him, the rest ran. He forgave all of them, cooked breakfast for them on a beach, and sent them out. The friendship God offers is the kind that survives being failed.
FAQ
What is the best Bible verse about friendship?
Proverbs 17:17, "A friend loves at all times," is the most quoted. John 15:13, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends," is the most profound, and Proverbs 27:17, "iron sharpens iron," is the most used for the way friends improve each other.
What does the Bible say about choosing friends?
Proverbs 13:20 says walking with the wise makes you wise and keeping company with fools destroys you, and Proverbs 22:24 warns against befriending an angry man because you will learn his ways. 1 Corinthians 15:33 sums it up: bad company corrupts good character. The Bible assumes that friends shape who you become.
Who were friends in the Bible?
David and Jonathan, Ruth and Naomi, Job and his three companions, Paul and Barnabas, and Jesus with Mary, Martha, and Lazarus, whom John says Jesus loved. Abraham was called the friend of God, and Jesus called his disciples friends.
What does "a friend sticks closer than a brother" mean?
Proverbs 18:24 contrasts having many casual companions, which can lead to ruin, with having one true friend whose loyalty exceeds even family ties. Christians have often applied the verse to Jesus, the friend who stays when everyone else leaves.
Does the Bible say to end a friendship?
It does not command it in so many words, but Proverbs 22:24–25 and 1 Corinthians 15:33 say plainly that some company should be avoided, and Proverbs 12:26 says the righteous are cautious in friendship. Loyalty in the Bible is not the same as staying in a relationship that is pulling you into harm.
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